Rockville Divorce Mediation Lawyers

What does divorce mediation mean?

Mediation is a process designed to resolve all open divorce issues, including the equitable division of marital property, child custody, child support, and alimony. The process is not for everyone. Mediation works best when you and your spouse have already had some preliminary discussions (either directly or through your Rockville family lawyers) to attempt to resolve your disputes. You and your spouse should be committed to reaching an agreement, and not bringing personal or petty issues to the table.

The mediator is agreed-upon by both your family law attorney and your spouse’s lawyer. Mediators are professionals who are trained in family law matters and/or people trained in resolving disputes. The more experience a mediator has, the better. Mediators must be neutral and cannot show favor to you or your spouse.

Sessions with the mediator are normally held in the mediator’s office (or virtually during COVID). The mediator will meet with each spouse (and the lawyer for the spouse) separately until it is clear both spouses have reached (or are near to reaching) an agreement. Mediation sessions are confidential. This means anything you say to the mediator cannot be used against you if you later need to try your divorce case before a judge because you could not resolve your disputes. This confidentiality should foster the free flow of communication between spouses.

Mediators do not file a report with the family law judge. Their job and goal is to try to get both sides to agree. If you cannot agree, the mediator does not make a recommendation to the judge. Mediators should be skilled at discussing what assets are marital property and when alimony is justified. Mediators should also be skilled at proposing solutions, alternatives, and suggestions to financial, child-raising, and other family issues.

The mediation process can take just one session but may require several sessions. Mediation is different from a collaborative divorce where the spouses and lawyers work with financial experts, child psychologists, and other experts.

Why do Rockville divorce lawyers recommend mediation?

Mediation has numerous advantages over litigation, including the following:

• Lower costs and less time. Mediation requires preparation – but much less than court hearings. There’s no lengthy discovery process when you use mediation. Mediations involve just the spouses, the lawyers, and the mediator. Court hearings can involve witnesses, and you may need to come back for several days to resolve the dispute. Because mediation takes less time than court hearings, mediation is less expensive.
• Control over your schedule. When judges say the case is ready, you need to be ready. With mediation, all sides agree to a mutually convenient time.
• Does not involve the children. Children can be called as witnesses in a court hearing. Even when they are not called, children will stress and worry because their parents stress and worry. Mediation is a much friendlier process.
• Proceedings are private. In open court hearings, anyone in the courtroom can listen to your disputes. Even in closed hearings, other witnesses and court personnel will hear your conflicts.
• Helps parents and spouses communicate. In court contests, it may take months or years before you and your spouse are calm enough to communicate. The friendlier mediation process means spouses should be able to put their differences behind them when the disputes are resolved, so parents can focus on their children and spouses can focus on moving forward.
• Better agreements. Judges tend to write orders that govern the key disputes and leave the details to be worked out by the spouses. With mediation, you and your lawyer can focus on many more details such as:
  • Who gets the family pet
  • What happens if you or your ex-spouse needs to make temporary changes to the custody schedule
  • Working out shared schedules

Experienced Rockville mediation lawyers help you choose the best mediator for your marital disputes, prepare you for the mediation, speak as your advocate during the mediation, and understand when the mediation is working and when you need to go to court.

A few practical Rockville divorce mediation considerations

If you and your spouse agree on any of the disputed issues (property division, child custody, child support, or alimony):

• The agreement should be set in writing. Each lawyer will review the agreement and negotiate any changes.
• The written agreement should be made part of a court order. You need the order in order to enforce the agreement through the family law courts.

Mediators should understand and explain what is likely to happen if you cannot agree – that you will go to court, and a family law judge will decide. Mediators will not, however, give legal advice. Giving legal advice is your lawyer’s job.

Normally, an equitable distribution order cannot be modified unless either side was dishonest about their assets or income. Child support and child custody orders can be modified if there is a significant change in circumstances from the date of the original orders.