Can Children Choose Their Custodial Parent? Maryland’s Approach Explained

Divorce is rarely easy. And when children are involved, the emotional stakes only get higher. It’s not unusual for parents to wonder: “Can my child decide which parent they want to live with?”

The short answer in Maryland? Maybe.

But it’s a lot more complicated than just asking the child and granting their wish.

Courts in Maryland always keep one thing at the center of every custody decision: the best interests of the child. Although a child’s taste can surely influence things, it is never the only determinant. Let’s examine Maryland’s treatment of a child’s preferences and discuss why consulting with seasoned child custody lawyers can make all the difference.

Understanding Maryland’s child custody standards

Before diving into the child’s say in custody, it’s important to understand how custody itself is viewed in Maryland.

There are two main types:

• Physical custody, meaning where the child actually lives.
• Legal custody, meaning who makes important decisions about the child’s welfare (education, healthcare, religion, etc.).

Sometimes, parents split these responsibilities right down the middle. Sometimes, one parent has all the say. No matter how things are set up, Maryland courts always keep one main thing in mind: what’s best for the child.

In Maryland, family law rules require that courts consider a wide range of factors:

• The fitness of each parent
• The character and reputation of each parent
• The child’s relationships with parents, siblings, and others
• Financial stability
• Proximity of parental homes
• And yes — the child’s preference, when appropriate.

But notice: preference is just one piece of a much bigger puzzle.

Does a child’s preference matter?

Yes—but maybe not in the way you expect.

In Maryland, there is no law giving children an absolute right to choose their custodial parent. That said, judges can and do take a child’s wishes into account if the child is old enough and mature enough to express a reasoned opinion.

Here’s the tricky part: Age alone isn’t enough. A judge isn’t going to blindly follow the wishes of a 15-year-old any more than they would ignore the insights of a mature 10-year-old.

The real questions are:

• Is the child mature enough to understand the situation?
• Is their preference based on sound reasoning, or something less healthy, like one parent being more permissive about curfews, chores, or school attendance?

For example, if a teenager says they want to live with Dad because “he lets me stay out all night,” a judge isn’t likely to give that preference much weight. That could be important, though, if the youngster claims they feel safer and supported at Dad’s place since Mom’s work schedule keeps her gone most evenings.

The takeaway? A child’s preference can have influence—but only if the judge believes it aligns with the child’s best interested.

This is where having knowledgeable child custody lawyers is critical. A good lawyer knows how to present a child’s preferences appropriately.

Is there a “magic age” in Maryland?

Parents often ask, “If my child is 14, can they just decide?”

However, Maryland law doesn’t set a “magic number” when it comes to a child choosing custody. There’s no automatic age where a child’s wishes will control the outcome.

However, there is one important legal milestone to know:

Under Maryland law, a child who is 16 years old or older and already subject to a custody order has the right to file their own petition with the court to request a change in custody.

Filing a petition doesn’t guarantee the court will approve the change. The judge will still review all the facts and focus on the child’s best interests. But it does give older teens a formal way to have their voice heard.

Generally speaking, even outside of formal petitions, Maryland judges tend to give more weight to the opinions of teenagers, particularly those aged 16 or older. The older and more mature the child, the more likely it is that their wishes will factor heavily into the final custody decision.

Still, the court’s job isn’t just to rubber-stamp a teenager’s request. It’s to protect and promote the child’s overall wellbeing. And sometimes—not always, but sometimes—that means making a tough call that goes against what the child says they want.

How is a child’s preference presented to the court?

So how does the judge actually find out what the child wants?

In some cases, the judge might use something called an in-camera interview. This is a private conversation between the judge and the child, conducted outside the presence of the parents. The goal is to allow the child to speak freely, without fear of judgment or pressure.

Oftentimes, the court may also appoint a best interests attorney who is tasked with investigating and advocating for the child’s best interests. Other times, a custody evaluator might meet with the child and submit a formal report.

Whatever the method, the key is the same: the child’s voice is heard. But the decision rests with the court.

Parents should resist the temptation to “prep” their child. Coaching can backfire. Judges and best interests attorneys are trained to pick up on rehearsed or influenced statements. Evidence of coaching can severely damage a parent’s credibility with the court.

Instead, work closely with child custody lawyers who can help make sure the child’s preference is introduced respectfully and ethically.

Tips for parents navigating child custody preferences

Worried about how your child’s preferences might come into play? Here are a few simple tips to keep in mind:

• Stay neutral. Encourage open, honest communication without pressuring your child to “choose sides.”
• Focus on stability. Courts favor parents who provide structure, support, and a healthy environment.
• Respect boundaries. Avoid dragging your child into adult conflicts or using them as a messenger.
• Listen carefully. If your child expresses a preference, hear them out — calmly. Don’t panic.
• Get legal guidance early. Experienced child custody lawyers can help you prepare, present, and protect your child’s voice throughout the process.

Above all, remember: custody cases aren’t about winning or losing. They’re about building the best possible future for your child.

Helping you and your child build a stronger future

Can a child’s preference influence custody decisions in Maryland? Absolutely. But it’s only one of many factors that courts weigh when deciding what’s truly best for the child.

There’s no set age when children can unilaterally choose their custodial parent. Instead, Maryland courts look closely at the child’s maturity, the reasons behind their preference, and how their wishes fit into the bigger picture of their wellbeing.

Child custody decisions are complex and emotional — especially when a child’s voice is involved. The experienced family law attorneys at McCabe Russell can help you handle the situation and ensure that your rights and your child’s best interests are protected.

If you’re going through a custody case and are concerned about how your child’s preference could impact the outcome, the skilled Columbia family law attorneys at McCabe Russell are here to help. We understand how important it is to protect your child’s wellbeing and can guide you through the legal process with personalized solutions. Contact us today and let’s discuss how we can help you move forward with confidence. Simply call our offices or fill out our contact form to schedule a meeting with a compassionate lawyer. We also maintain offices in Fulton, Bethesda, and Rockville.